


You don't have to count anymore

by blu_rin



Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fantôme Iris - Freeform, M/M, Might be OOC, felix is only mentioned but i love him a lot, jun being slightly anxious, koharu is the best aniki ever, no beta i'm socially unable to get one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24232252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blu_rin/pseuds/blu_rin
Summary: Jun isn't exactly sure if his boyfriend loves him for the blunt way he acts as a vampire on the stage or for the clumsy NEET he thinks he truly is.
Relationships: Kurokawa Tomoru/Suzaki Jun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	You don't have to count anymore

**Author's Note:**

> There was a morning when I wake up with the ship Tomoru/Jun in my head. And then this idea came. And I wrote it.
> 
> English is not my first language but practicing didn't kill anyone, so yeah.

Jun used to count, how many times they kissed during the day with Tomoru. Then he stopped with that and started to count the things they were doing as a couple. But the number was just as awful as before. However, Jun didn’t give up and he counted their interactions, desperately wanting the number to increase. But it stayed the same, making him slowly drown into anxiety.  
He knew that the others accepted them and thought that their physical interactions are low only because their shyness. Although Jun wanted to agree with the rest of the band members, he couldn’t. Tomoru always kept himself busy with work at the shared house, without sparing a single glance at him. If he didn’t, he strummed his guitar, trying to keep up with rehearsals. But most of the cases he wasn’t even at home but at his workplace.   
Jun hated everything about their relationship and at the same time he couldn’t let it go. Let _him_ go. Because there were still nights when Tomoru hold him tight, being aware of his fragile body, caressed Jun’s silky, silver hair and whispered sweet nothings to him. Of course, these were the times when they didn’t have a live show. And when they did… Well, both of them turned into their vampire personas. Jun’s persona, Zack often appeared when he was playing games, too. But on the stage, Zack was pumped up with adrenaline and shouted rather censorable things while having fun freely. However, Tomoru’s persona, Light was a half-blood vampire who followed Felix almost blindly. In despite of this, their first kiss happened after a live, still being hyped up and it was kind of hungry and wild, the exact opposite of the kisses they shared while being their normal selves. When Jun changed back to his comfy hoodie and got rid of the makeup, he was kind of anxious about the kiss. Was it from Light or Tomoru? Was it for Zack or Jun?   
Later that night, the answer got him like a lightning struck when they got home and the others went to mind their own business. He and Tomoru remained alone and the other guitarist silently asked him out with a nervous look in his eyes. Jun said yes. And they started dating.   
But dating Kurokawa Tomoru was harder than he expected. It was awesome, his heart was beating fast every time they were in the same room and he absolutely didn’t mind when Felix saw them kissing once – a rare occasion, though. After that, everyone knew about the kind of weird couple and accepted their relationship. The funny thing was, Jun started to think that he was the only one who wasn’t satisfied with it.   
Because he felt like Light loves Zack more than Tomoru loves Jun. And it made him almost throw up every time, when he turned back into Jun and remembered their mingling breaths after a live show. Light always cared about Zack. Tomoru seemed to care about anything but Jun.   
“Have you drunk rotten milk again?” A familiar voice came from the doorway. “I’ve already told you, bruh. Look at the fucking date of expiry!”  
Koharu arrived at home with a sigh as he changed his shoes and stepped to the living room where Jun laid on the couch, bangs covering his eyes.   
“It’s not like that.” He murmured.   
“Oh, I see. You’re not shaking at all like last time and you look pretty unharmed what’s a surprise, since you were home all alone by yourself. So, tell me, who should I beat up?”   
Koharu carefully lifted Jun’s legs and sat down on the couch, dropping the limbs in his lap.   
“Don’t hurt him.” Jun muttered without a second thought then almost regretted it.   
“Him? It starts to get kinda interesting.” Koharu grinned and softly poked Jun’s stomach. “Spit it out, I hate riddles.”   
Jun switched uncomfortably at the poke. He didn’t want to give the details of his relationship away. However, Koharu was like a big brother for all of them, and defending the band members like a lion. Jun always admired him in a way like you do with someone who is older and cooler than you.  
“It’s just me and Tomoru. I feel like he doesn’t love me the way Light loves Zack.”   
To his surprise, Koharu laughed. Jun immediately blushed and started to babble.   
“I-I mean, that he does love me l-like a lot, b-but…”   
Koharu cut in almost immediately.   
“Ah, don’t do this, I’ve got it, bro. Ya know, I have eyes and ears. So, your problem is that your boyfriend is a workaholic, who never really spends time with you while after our lives he turns into a lovey-dovey half-vampire and kisses your vampire ass like there is no tomorrow, right?”   
Jun blinked and simply nodded. Koharu was very blunt about this topic. The bassist rolled his eyes and softly patted Jun’s knee.   
“C’mon, just sit down and talk with him! It’s not a big deal. Get an energy drink and when he gets home, give it to him and he won’t say no for you. Tomoru would be mad if he rejected his fav boy and that sweet shit.”   
Jun nodded again then sat up and turned to table in opposite of the couch to take up his game console. A hint of smile appeared on his face as he switched it on.  
“Thank you, Koharu!”   
The bassist only grunted and vanished in one of the rooms. Jun decided to play until Tomoru’s shift ended.   
It was past seven o’clock when Koharu emerged from the kitchen and approached him.  
“Tomoru texted me if he should bring some alcohol. He will be home in five minutes.”   
“You piece of…”   
Then Zack’s persona vanished and a rather anxious Jun stood in the doorway with an energy drink in hands. When Felix accidentally walked into the sight of a nervous Jun he seemed slightly concerned but an angry Koharu dragged him away so Jun was left alone, waiting.   
When he heard the keys clinking he almost fainted. And then here he was: Tomoru – his boyfriend –, looking extremely tired with a bag of alcohol in his hands. When he realized Jun’s presence, a soft smile appeared on his lips.  
“Hi! Can you let me in the kitchen? I bought this for Koharu and…”  
He stopped midsentence as Jun hold up the energy drink in front of him, like a shield what could save him from being ignored. Tomoru’s eyes light up and he offered a gentle smile to Jun.  
“Wait for me in my room. I’ll come after I gave this to Koharu, okay?”   
Tomoru placed a chaste kiss on the top of Jun’s head and headed to the kitchen. Jun hopefully went to Tomoru’s room and obediently waited for him. His heartbeat fastened as the guitarist finally closed the door behind him and clicked on the lights.   
“Or would you prefer darkness?” He jokingly sat on the bed and patted the mattress. Jun sat beside him and handed Tomoru the energy drink. His boyfriend drank it pretty fast then put his arms around Jun’s waist and playfully kissed his neck.   
“Thank you.” His breath was hot against Jun’s skin. It made him shiver first before he snapped back into reality and sat further from Tomoru.   
“Is there something wrong?” His boyfriend looked at him questioningly.   
Jun took a deep breath before he spoke up.  
“Yes. There is.”   
Tomoru seemed confused.  
“And what is---“   
Jun didn’t wait for him to finish. He gained all his courage by now.  
“Us. It’s not what I want. I don’t know about you but I hate this. You’re always busy with work and when you’re home you work or play the guitar what I can understand but I’m also here. I can count on one of my hands, how many times we interact when you’re home and when you’re not Light. Because the thing what hurts me the most is that it seems that Light loves Zack more than you love me. And I don’t know, Tomoru. I don’t know if it’s only for the sake of our roles or you really, truly do love me.”   
Jun’s voice died. He didn’t know when he started to cry but he did. And he hated himself for it. He didn’t want Tomoru to pity him.   
“I… I don’t know what to say, honestly.” Tomoru started but Jun cut in.  
“Then answer me, please. Do you love Zack or Suzaki Jun?”   
Silence. Jun didn’t want to hear silence. He wanted to hear his name. Or whatever. Just not the deafening silence.   
“Jun,” Tomoru spoke up. “I love you and no one else. I’ve never thought that I could love you and Zack separately because he is part of you, part of the Suzaki Jun I respect and love. Like Light is me, but a different side of me. And yes. I admit, that while being dressed up like Light I was more daring and braver but I don’t want to hurt you. Sorry, if I did, though.”   
Jun slowly looked up as he felt the mattress rise and sink beside him. Tomoru leaned closer and cleaned the tears gently with his thumb.   
“From now on, I promise you something. When I’m working from home, you’ll be beside me. When I’m playing the guitar, you’ll play with me. And when I come back from work I’ll kiss you and spend all my free minutes with you. If it’s okay..?” He whispered.   
Jun nodded and a sheepish smile appeared on his face.  
“Good. I’m so glad, to have you. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Jun.”   
Tomoru caressed Jun’s chin then kissed him. It was the kiss what Jun didn’t know he waited for until it happened. Because it was soft and hungry, tender and wild. The mix of the kisses he got from Tomoru and Light. And Jun happily kissed back.


End file.
